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June 2008

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Member since 03/2006

June 26, 2008

Swept away ...

I never had anything happen so fast

I took one look and I shattered like glass

I guess I let it show

Because your smile told me you knew

That you're eveything I ever wanted at once

There's no holding this heart

When it knows what it wants

And I never wanted anything more than to know you.

I was swept away...

No one in the world but you and I

Gonna find a way to make you feel the way that I do

I was swept away

Without a warning

Like night when the morning begins the day

I was swept away.

And so it begins

This journey of love

The summer wind carries us to places all our own

The words of a look

The language of touch

The way that you want me means so much

And I never wanted anything more than to love you.

Seeing my tommorrow in your eyes

I was swept away

I hope I wake up soon

I'm a victim of that crazy moon

The very first time you said my name

I knew it would never sound the same

Something about me is changed forever.

Cant you see ...?

I was swept away!

                            

June 19, 2008

Wishful thinking

I close my eyes and imagine the beauty of your eyes,

the touch of your lips in my skin,

the beating of heart that matches mine.

I close my eyes and imagine your smile,

the soft sound of your voice,

the warm breath that touches my core.

I close my eyes and feel you here by my side,

the sweet scent of your perfume,

awakens my body and soul.

I close my eyes to keep the feelings alive,

Hoping that when I open them ...

You are here at my side.

June 10, 2008

Beauty and Madness

Alone in the room staring at the ceiling for ages

Nothing much to do but to wait

Waiting for the wind to blow me to the right direction

Waiting for the rain to wash all my hesitations.

Patience is a virtue but it never was my strong qualities

Wanted things to be done and i wanted it here and now

I wanted things to be what i wanted it to be

But for real it can never be.

There's so much wanting and so much needing

But one thing is for sure

Tears are drying and flowers are blooming

In a room full of wonderful dreams.

Reawakened in so much beauty

By yesterday that makes me strong

By today that makes me smile to serenity

And by tomorrow? something to look forward for!

June 05, 2008

Way back ..

Ive been living with a shadow overhead

Ive been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

Ive been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on.

Ive been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need them again someday

Ive been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind.

Ive been watching but the stars refuse to shine

Ive been searching but I just dont see the signs

I know that its out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere.

Ive been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And im open to your suggestions.

There are moments when I dont know if its real

Or anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration and not just another negotiation.

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I cant make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

Im hoping that you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

I guess Im hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

June 03, 2008

When UR Gone

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

And when you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it ok, I miss you ...

We were made for each other

Out here forever

I know we were

And all I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me.

May 17, 2008

Things happened for a reason

The feeling of confusion and uncertainty are inevitable. Confused with what they want in life and uncertain about where they are leading to. It is amazing how people deal with this and how they get through it.

People hurt or put themselves in a situation where they question their sense of being, they question their reason for existence or sometimes the meaning of happiness and life.

We sometimes decide hastily and in the end we get hurt. We put ourselves in a vulnerable situation and in the end we get devastated. But the means justifies the end. The process that we go through in achieving our desired goal (desired ending or not) make you the peson that you wanted to be. The experience - specially the not so good one - molds you to be a better and stronger person. Every humps and bumps we learn from it.

Things happened for a reason. People that we met, places that we go to, situation we experienced and circumstance that you find yourself into happened because it is destined to happen. You may question the odds but cant question the faith that leads you to it. It sounds funny but really ... think about it. There are forces around us, forces that draw us into and that we can not control. That force contribute largely on how we make out of our lives and on our decisions. We might not like it, we might not happy about it because darn it hurt so badly that we just wanted to burst out, collapse and die.

How often do we question ourselves and how often we doubted our decision. But does this really matter? Questioning our pass actions? Or we rather use it as a reminder and referrence in the future. We've been hurt and scarred and devastated ... but also you have been happy, feel loved and appreciated. You will not be who you are if not because of it. You will not be able to define what life is all about if you have not experience how to live out life. And living one's life is not easy and never will be.

Things happened for a reason... we dont need to know what the reasons are. All we need to know is what we learned for the things that happened.

May 06, 2008

FACT...

Should I love the fact that you make me smile

Should I love the fact that you make me cry

Should I love the fact that I cant sleep at night

Should I love the fact that I am now falling hard

You make my heart beats so fast

You make my bones tingles to the max

You blow my senses out of hand

You, being you I fall and love

Should i love the fact?

I guess it was obvious from the start

I dont care and i dont give a damn

It was wrong but it feels so right

It is you that make me smile

It is you that make me cry

It is you that give me sleepless nights

And it is you that I fall and love

April 16, 2008

UAE experience

This entry has been long overdue. I wrote this ages ago finally i find time to post it ...here it goes...

It was quite an experience I had a month ago but I still remember how embarassing it was. It was monday night when we decided to relax and have a girls night out. Everybody deserve a nice break anyway. We went out to go to disco. Me and the rest of asian palace ladies went to Baywatch (disco) in Ajman. We left Al Mubarak center at around 2 am, it was late already but that's the only time everybody finished their duty.

We were already in the main entrance of Baywatch waiting for the last taxi to come when unexpectedly somebody touched my "butt". I was in shocked for a second and when I got my senses back I started cursing those "assholes" (pardon my language). They were 3 arabic men came from behind me and one of them, I dont know  what came up to his mind, touched me from behind. They look so decent actually - ooks can really deceive you. Not in my wildest imagination that in this very strict country someone would even attempt to do such. I wanted to punch them and kick their balls (if they have) I felt so humillated, so embarassed and offended.

I was so angry .. angry to those arabic guys but I am also angry to Filipinas who gave them the impression that they can do whatever and whenever they want to do to us when they sees us - that they can harass us, that they can offer us money and we'll go with them, that we can easily be bought! Yes! That's how low they think of us! That's their impression of us! I may be hurting my Kababayan and I dont want to sound so righteous but I am just stating the fact that their action affetcs other people. I just hate saying this really but I will be damn not to and let some people ruin whatever reputation we have left as a Filipina. A couple of times already, while waiting for a taxi, a car would stop in front of me and ask me "how much?" worst, they would even say it in my own language (Tagalog).

These arabic men were like dogs when they see a lady wearing a tight jeans or sleeveless or if you are showing a bit of your skin - its like seeing a piece of meat! I'm really sorry but that's how I see it. I dont want to sound so discriminating and it's not in my nature to discrimate people by their colors, religion , nationality or beliefts - but it seems my expereince here and being here had given me the right to say my views.

A friend of mine was slapped (twice mind you) by this stupid arrogant Arabic guy. She works in coffee shop in Al Mubarak Center. This guy has been harassing her and making sexual comments for quite sometime now and that day she can't take it anymore so she slapped him. To her supprise and to everybody's supprise he slapped her back twice (mag-asawang sampal talaga, ung tipong nayanig anf buong mundo nya at nakita nya lahat ng mga bituin sa langit). The worst part is, she was being blamed on what happened and that it was her fault because she slapped him first. But F*** off! He was harassing her. He was making some comments that NO lady can take. How can slapping an "asshole" for making those advances becomes your fault! Is it because she is a Filipina?

It makes me angry, sad and wanting to start a "revolution" but the fact remains, I cannot do anything about it! I cannot do anything about it alone. All I can do is rant about it and to tell the world how these "low life cockroach" treat us. The fact will remains that we can not change the impression and perception of other people/other nationality of us, of FILIPINAS. Sometimes I tell myself I dont care what they think of us, that people make bad choices in life because situation force them to do so and that people have their own way of coping and surviving life. "Paraparaan lang yan, ika nga". But still, in the back of my mind I wish it was different.

This kind of treatment, harrassment and being belittled are experienced by FILIPINOS in general not only here in UAE but most probably around the world. I remember once that it was defined in a dictionary that FILIPINO means Domestic Helper. They dont know that WE are more than just cleaning houses, nanies or prostitutes. I am not generalizing, because I have met people who doesn't think and look down on us, people who gave high regards on the strength, abilities and skills of Filipinos.

If I have offended people, my apologies .. this is just being me .. being myself.

March 18, 2008

Universe Conspires

The inevitable has come

I am feeling down

I thought I have overcome

This rollercoaster life of mine.

I agree not to think what had gone wrong

Trying to control things but look what I got

Telling myself to be strong and have faith

This is the way it is suppose to be, for heaven sake.

Here I am scared

Heart beating fast

I know this moment will come

Slipping away and out of bound.

I am scared of where this may lead

I am scare of how this may end

I am scared, I already fall strong and hard

In derange and unknown circumstance

Faith brought me here

If its meant to be, then it will be

Universe will conspire

To show and lead me the way.

February 23, 2008

poetry and books

It has been a stressful week, both professionally and personally. I have crossed a path full of questions and uncertainty. I was uncertain of this existence and the direction I am leading to. A friend  of mine told me that it must be some mid-life crisis and I laugh over it. I just cant believe I am having episodes of mid-life crisis! Ngik!!!

Everytime I am in this state of "madness", my friend, my mentor will always jog my memory that I have to be clear on what I really want in life and tell it to the Universe. Getting what we want is not easy and never will be. We have to be patient, persistent and clear. There are so many forces surround us that affect our decision but if we are clear on what we want, that force will drive us to the direction we aspire for.

One good thing that came out of this predicament is bringing back one of my passion to life. It's been a while since I put my thoughts in paper and write poems. It's a therapy. Pouring out all emotions, your worries and fears into words.

I also miss reading books. Since I came here in UAE, I only read one book which  I never got the chance to finish. That's another passion of mine that hopefully I will find a way to bring it back (meaning I have to stop being lazy, go out and check out some book shops that sells not so expensive but very good books).

Writing poems and reading books has been a very good "drug" for me in the past. It had worked its magic and hopefully it will make its magic again.